Favourite quote

What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived.
It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.
- Nelson Mandela

Monday, April 25, 2016

On Oldest Daughter

I was at the age of 11, contemplating my life's future, when the answer of 4 daughters was given to me ( I might not believe in god, but I'm not deaf ).

Without realizing it, in my 40's I left my first wife, to whom I had a daughter.
Months later I meet a wonderful woman, who had by chance 3 slightly older daughters.
We fell in love and having 4 daughters just felt right for me, and these last 10 years have been amazing.
When my wife left her then husband, her oldest decided to support her father and as such still has a relationship with him. He has not made an effort to see his other 2 children, and when I see him (12 years after the separation), he is still filled with hate and talks about this and that to "get back at her"

I have raised all 4 girls as one unit, often and at great expense to combine them in to a functioning unit and it's working out really well. My youngest is 13 and oldest is 23.

Now here lies the problem.
If oldest daughter still see her birth father once every month and it slips out about my dressing, he will inform his mother (the woman who has filled him with a lot of this hate) and she will spend lots of her time, energy and even money to let my wife's family know she left him - for a  weirdo.

This grandmother of my kids, has already spent lots of time and money with private detectives and lawyers to find a reason to punish my wife in a court of law and since those have failed has started other nasty rumours.

My wife has mentioned she doesn't want her brothers to know, as she will feel somehow a lesser person.
On the other side of the coin, her brothers know what sort of man/husband/father I already am.

7 comments:

sue taylor said...

Such a sad world where hatred and someone want for revenge can and would ruin 6 if not more peoples lives.I guess like alot of us. We live in shadows. When is a good time at school that your children are mocked as their dad is a (poof) .I wear womens clothes and am happly married .? Not gay.. so yes you can never alow those people the satisfaction .

sue taylor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel said...

Here, today, having a gay dad is not a problem, having mental issues like depression also not a problem, also not a problem if your mum dresses like a man, dressing like a girl also not a problem ON CONDITION that you are young and at school/uni. So cross dressing here, is only an issue if your a male over the age of 30

sue taylor said...

Haha I never went out when I was younger. And now im 40,s . I dont dress my age mutton as lamb is a saying that springs to mind. You can walk around botany and town but papakura not too sure

sue taylor said...

Haha I never went out when I was younger. And now im 40,s . I dont dress my age mutton as lamb is a saying that springs to mind. You can walk around botany and town but papakura not too sure

Rachel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel said...

I remember walking in to MacDonalds Papakura when it first opened, and one of the ex-Takanini MacDonald girls recognised Rachel and ran over for a hug. I've also spent quite a few hours in the library there. I've swam in the pools there 3 times this summer, in the one peice bathing costumes on my blog (during work hours) and even got the pool staff to take a photo of me -Thursday Oct 29, 2015 on my blog. So not to bad for a country town