I was at the age of 11, contemplating my life's future, when the answer of 4 daughters was given to me ( I might not believe in god, but I'm not deaf ).
Without realizing it, in my 40's I left my first wife, to whom I had a daughter.
Months later I meet a wonderful woman, who had by chance 3 slightly older daughters.
We fell in love and having 4 daughters just felt right for me, and these last 10 years have been amazing.
When my wife left her then husband, her oldest decided to support her father and as such still has a relationship with him. He has not made an effort to see his other 2 children, and when I see him (12 years after the separation), he is still filled with hate and talks about this and that to "get back at her"
I have raised all 4 girls as one unit, often and at great expense to combine them in to a functioning unit and it's working out really well. My youngest is 13 and oldest is 23.
Now here lies the problem.
If oldest daughter still see her birth father once every month and it slips out about my dressing, he will inform his mother (the woman who has filled him with a lot of this hate) and she will spend lots of her time, energy and even money to let my wife's family know she left him - for a weirdo.
This grandmother of my kids, has already spent lots of time and money with private detectives and lawyers to find a reason to punish my wife in a court of law and since those have failed has started other nasty rumours.
My wife has mentioned she doesn't want her brothers to know, as she will feel somehow a lesser person.
On the other side of the coin, her brothers know what sort of man/husband/father I already am.