I've always preferred / admired women, for their loving smile, curvaceous beauty, kindness in their eyes, their intelligence, ever since I could remember.
The early years were great, I had over 100 miles of bush to play cowboys & Indians (an early version of Bear Grylls - Man vs Wild - and it was filled with snakes, deadly spiders), a bedroom full of slot car tracks, a place for gumboots at my bed side. In the height of boredom, I tried chopping my house down.
I was raised, "gender neutral" so as well as the normal boy stuff, I also learned to cook, sew, knit and basic first aid and give dolls really bad hair cuts.
Year 6 came up, my older sister had a cool "big" bike. Not wanting to be a sissy (who ever heard of a boy riding a girls bike?), but a brilliant plan took shape - with makeup and a dress, anyone on the road front will just think it's a girl riding a cool "big" girls bike.
Who would have guessed my family was watching from an upstairs living room window.
As far as alter egos go, I always had myself pegged as ... Superman, to the extent of bashing up quite a few school bullies and bringing justice for their victims
Years passed without incident....
Boy, the girls were looking hot in their swim suits that summer, I could just imagine making love to them while they wore that silky material. Imagine was as far as I got - but the idea of having that silky material close to my skin was do-able, enjoyable and really exciting.
17-20, If women's one piece swim suits were sexy and daring, so surely would be stocking and suspenders and even a bra under day clothes while attending Uni classes
20 and thankful for the invention of Lycra.
Those girls doing Aerobics Oz style were looking so hot, I just had to have a similar outfit. Jogging around in the late evening wearing similar outfit was quite a workout.
Somewhere between wanting to shock, and not be recognised, lead to the addition of water filled balloons and a wig
20 through to mid 35, things did not change much, maybe a skirt was purchased, a pair of shoes, but apart from the nearly weekly jog, I didn't get out.
At the age of 35, I went through a period of being inventive with theatre special effects, and with the use of some of their rubber products, designed & molded my own breast forms, badly burning my left hand when the molten rubber overflowed
At the age of 40, my life really did start.
First was an all day outing to Hamilton, with a visit to the gardens and some shopping in the town center and movies. After a few trips down there I started having morning outings within the greater Auckland area including walking around shopping centers etc (and even a couple of fancy dress parties with friends).
Now I have a fantastic & supportive wife, daughters who are not involved with this side of me, but wear my clothes and I wear theirs.
Sometimes I'm a hard arsed Dad, and sometimes I can be a soft & caring female (I know where the switch is, and I'll use it when I want)
Sub personalities (such as Rachel) are generally developed to deal with issues / trauma , although I doubt I ever had any issues. Spiritually Rachel feels more like an extra part of me. I'm unsure whether that was because I allowed her to develop a persona or there is more to life that we humans still do not know. Some psychics recently called me "a split soul", but I prefer the Indian expression of two souls
I love Rachel...
of my 4 personalities, she is the only one I willingly let out.
For chats, questions, etc, my email is email@example.com